 | Editorial From www.marcelradio.com | |||||||
Color Blind | ||||||||
(If the South Had Won) | ||||||||
Written by Marc Marcel Created: 12/11/2010 | ||||||||
November 4th, 2008, was one of the greatest revelations of my life. What that day means to many, ‘The First Black President,’ to me, states something much deeper. Truth be told, when I went into the election booth that day, I looked for Ron Paul’s name first, trying my best be color blind, I looked for the person I felt could best represent this country, but his name wasn’t on the final ballot, so I went with my 2nd choice, Barack Obama. I have taken many leaps to become the person I am now, and am thankful to say I have a balance of friends from different cultures and races. I remember there was a time in my life when I can actually say that I was racist, so to go into the election booth, knowing the historical moment this country was faced with, and my first thought wasn’t a man’s skin color, said a lot to me, about myself as a person. But at 11 o’clock that night, a much larger revelation came to me…Not that this Country had it’s first Black President, but that the Country is no where as racist as I once thought…or…maybe I thought. I remember when I was young, thinking there would ‘Never,’ be a black president. Not just in my lifetime, and not just in my son’s lifetime…but never. I just couldn’t imagine it. After all this country is only 40 years removed from civil rights, 400 from the start of slavery, and truly compared to other civilizations before, that is only a short amount of time. So for me, it was hard to see, until it happened, and I found myself not proud for me or black people, but proud to live in a day when I could say I saw that change in people as a whole. …But something very strange and odd has happened since. The prouder I become of the people, the more racism I am starting to experience. And with this being the case, one might think it could revert someone like myself, who can admit to having racist thoughts, back into a mind frame I had once before. But you don’t learn from your actions, only to go backwards when someone doesn’t progress as fast. In my adolescent, I have experienced racism on small levels, maybe not being awarded something I thought I deserved in favor of someone else of another skin color, or being called slurs from kids who at the time may have had no idea what they are saying, but all minor events, nothing that would cause someone to call the NAACP. My parents did their best to make sure I integrated with other races. But still, whatever integrating I did as a child, it couldn’t have prepared me for the heavy history I learned in my later teens, early twenties. I would say, the more I learned about African History, the more resentful I became. Shamefully, at one time in my life, I remember being thankful that slavery took place, thinking otherwise I would be climbing on trees, running around naked, but that’s what I saw on television. I had no idea the history, the prestige, the modern cites in Africa, I was truly and utterly clueless, and the more I learned, the more resentful I became towards white people. Whether it was their fault or not, whether they had ancestors in their families that owned slaves or not, I became resentful towards a group of people, because of what I never learned in school. I remember there were many times I wouldn’t even shake there hands. And to think now, I purposely try to extend my hand to men that are racist just to make them feel uncomfortable. It’s such a drastic change from how I use to be. This emotion was something that gradually took it’s course, but truly in one night, it was conquered with 1 revelation. The traveling I have done as an artist as been so beneficial to my growth as a person. One thing it has shown me, are people’s differences, and that was enough to get me thinking, to get me open. But sometimes it takes the words from someone else to seal the deal, someone I would consider a whole lot smarter than myself. Somewhere in the middle of reading, ‘Conversations with God,’ a book that I recommend to every living being on this planet, I was overcome with one of the most beautiful feelings in my life…it was to KNOW, that GOD, is all love. For the first time in my life, I found myself connecting to the simplest form of love…acceptance. And instantly, I looked at like, if I truly believe God to be this way, than who am, not to accept someone else for their differences. And once I truly grasped that thought, it killed whatever prejudices, racism or even homophobia I may have had towards someone else. I never looked at the world, or people the same since. Quite frankly, I began to become colorblind. It’s funny to me, the people and priest that will profess their belief in a God that loves us and accepts us no matter what, but yet will condemn us for something we do wrong. But if that was the case, than I guess God wouldn’t be all love and accepting…God would be a police station. And I don’t believe God to operate like a police station. I’m sure God, a being that made the Universe, operates with a little bit more train of thought than a human being. Preachers are my favorite people in the world to talk to, more so because I enjoy debating with them and their logic. For the most part, even though I know I am driving them up a wall, they converse without hostility. I tend to be very confident, vocal person, meaning, I do not shun away from what I feel or think. Now imagine this, when I’m speaking on racial issues…now imagine this, when I am speaking on racial issues dealing with the American Government…now imagine this, when I am speaking on racial issues dealing with the American Government with 10’s of thousands of listeners who hate me even before I begin to speak. I can’t quite say I have ever stood in front of this audience, but they have overwhelmingly made themselves known to me. Youtube has created a new wave for our culture and generation. People sit in front of their computers browsing through videos as much as they watch television now a days, if not more. It has helped film makers in their efforts, and for performers it has stretched their fan base to audiences that have never seen them live. It is a great invention, but also one that let’s people who wouldn’t want to go your show, casually browse and peak into your world from their own home. And some of these people are reminding me, racism not only still exist, but how stupid and uneducated they truly are. Oddly enough, a poem that in my eyes, I consider second rate, has somehow made me infamous amongst a large group of people. ‘If the South Had Won,’ a poem from my 2005, ‘Have you Ever Lost Faith in God,’ album, has somehow made its way on my Greatest Hit’s album, and only by outside persistence. A friend of mine said, ‘Your greatest hits album isn’t just your favorite cuts, but your most famous and infamous writings.’ And while I did leave off a few tracks that some would consider popular, I somehow couldn’t resist placing, ‘If the South had Won,’ on the CD, and only because of the negative response.
I know what you’re thinking…I do…and the answer to your question is…No. You have to be wondering, or even want to ask, ‘Does this bother you,’ or, ‘Are you frightened by it,’ and the answer, like I said…no, not in the least. Most of the time, the first thought that comes to mind, is they’re criticizing me for what I’m actually saying in the poem. But even before I could begin to educate them on the poem, I feel I would have to educate them on a few things about history first. For a lot of the times they like to tell me to, ‘Go back to Africa.’ Well, I can’t go back to Africa, if I’ve never been. Another eyebrow raiser, is that some of them have in turned called me racist, while calling me a nigger in the same statement. They have called me a Jew Hater, and they been confused to think I am asking for handouts. Often I just shake my head and wonder why they can’t understand the metaphor in my poem. In the poem, I feel like I’m merely giving comparisons on race relationships, and telling black people they need to do for themselves. It’s weird to me how some people fully understand that, and how other people don’t understand it at all. But regardless, maybe it was something I could have prevented, the height that the racial slander has reached. Truly it seems it has now taken on a life of its own, people actually comment back to each other and have their own conversations back and forth on it. But I very easily could have erased their comments, something that one of my friends asked me why haven’t I done. In fact out of 40 or so videos posted on my youtube account, it is the only one that generates that type of response, unfortunately it is also the most viewed. But I leave up the comments, because I want people to see how ugly they can be. Like I said, it doesn’t bother me in the least, even when I think of the fear factor, and wonder if that is what they were trying to accomplish. I have even personally emailed some of them back, and invited them to say whatever frustrations they have to me personally. Guess how many of them have taken me up on that offer. None. Quite frankly, how I feel about them…initially it was amusing, a little bit of it still is. The idea that someone can be bold enough to say certain things, but when they are confronted by the person they are speaking of, and freeze, is amusing. But lately, I’m developing something I learned form my sister. An amazing woman and the best mother I know. After discussing with her a personal issue that she was going through, she then said to me, “Marc, when people do ugly things to me, I don’t feel bad for myself, I feel bad for them.” I do consider her a much calmer person than me, and someone who has a much better control on her temper, but it hit me instantly…she’s right. Those people, who think they are causing me harm, they’re not, because I don’t let them make me feel bad for myself. I feel bad for them, I almost pity them, to see the world as they do, it must be so small, so tiny of a place to live in. And I understand, because I use to live in that world too…but it was just too small for me. People who know me well, know within the last few years my thoughts have overwhelming been in Outer Space, so much so, that people who think about race issues, to me, seem a little minded. For me, Obama being elected meant that there were plenty more colorblind people in the world than I first thought. Because Obama would not have gotten elected had he not had a major part of the white vote as well. And for me, it is not about having a Black President, to be honest there are many things that I disagree with that he has done, and is doing, so I am not going to just ride the wave. I’m going to judge him for his choices, not the color of his skin. I was interested to see the response people were going to have the first time someone said something bad about Obama. It has been quite interestingly to say the least. While I thought that white people might be hesitant to say anything about him, because of the fear of people playing the race card, it seems in turn that Obama has had more than his share of shots taken at him. Now, you have to look at this closely, very, very closely, because a lot of blacks don’t, in fact, I’m sure white people haven’t realized this as well. But, I’ve noticed when someone says something bad about Obama, a lot of blacks want to point out racism. Now, aside from Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh, I beg to differ. You have to look at the people who are saying bad things about Obama, and the people who are saying great things about Obama. Okay folks, it’s simple, this is an argument I had with my father. The people, who say negative things about Obama, are ALL REPUBLICANS. And what is our President? A DEMOCRAT. Democrats don’t say negative things about their president. Why? Because their president is a DEMOCRAT. When George Bush was in Office. Who were the ONLY people that screamed bloodily Murder? DEMOCRATS. Why, because he was a REPUBLICAN. And that has been the way of time, the way of politics, to get whatever party is in office, out of office, so your party can get in office and run things. It’s not race…its politics. And I can see this, because I’m colorblind. For instance, here is some food for thought. Racism… Blacks have stated that racism is defined to deal with power, and oppression, therefore Blacks like to boast that they can’t be racist. Well, they may be correct on one side of the page, but, in the dictionary, racism is also giving more than one definition, and another definition of the word is, ‘discriminatory or abusive behavior towards members of another race.’ Simple enough for me. Now that we have that cleared, let’s continue into this train of thought of when someone says, ‘Pulling the Race Card.’ I have many friends who have done this on many of occasions, whether it is a young lady that turned them down, a job they wanted, not being served fast enough or if someone simply says something negative about their president, I have heard time after time, ‘Oh, they’re just racist.’ Like, that’s just the answer to everything. But, think of it this way, to always have that assumption, to be that defensive, is also a sign of racism, because in a sense, you are judging that person by their skin color. Had that person been of the same race, the assumption would’ve been different. I notice things like this. Why? Because I’m colorblind. And so I go back to November 4th, 2008, a day that I will always remember. I watched the outcome on television with my mother, father and son, before later getting in my car to drive 45 minutes to celebrate in the streets of Washington DC. Its was amazing, the togetherness, people were standing outside the White House, and showing their appreciation for their outgoing President, chanting, ‘PACK YOUR SHIT, PACK YOUR SHIT.’ U Street looked like ‘Freak Nic,’ and Mardi Gras,’ mixed together, people of all colors, all races celebrating, dancing on cars, nobody cared. I will never forget that feeling, I will never forget what the people taught me, what they showed me. They inspired me. This country, for the first time in my adult lifetime, (Credit to Michelle Obama), inspired me, and nothing will ever make me lose that feeling. Even if the people themselves forget that feeling, I will remember it. I will become no less proud of the people who made me feel that way, regardless of the hate mail I receive. Honestly they have fueled poems of mine that I am very thankful for having, so in sense, they are just as important to me as the people who have inspired me. But with all this said, I will not be the one to now say that there isn’t a problem. I never imagined to be so infamous and loved for reciting the same words, its clear there’s something preventing a certain group of people from understanding even the simplest of things. And I know what it is, it’s so clear, like the writing on the walls, so there’s really no need for anyone of any of my friends to feel a need to point it out to me. I said I was colorblind…I never said I was blind. Respect Marc Marcel | ||||||||
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Color Blind (Editorial from www.marcelradio.com)
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I recently found a video of yours on youtube titled, "DMT - Explaining Reality", and the next thing I know, I am on your website, reading some of your poetry, and now this article. I am an instant fan! I tend to find myself leaning more and more towards those who are spiritual and more awake. Too much hate in the world, too many people avoiding the real issues "the fears we all hold deep within our minds", people who allow the mind chatter (fretting over past and future) to consume them, too many people not trying to practice living in this moment. Too many people not growing.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to change the world, you have to change yourself. Everything we need is inside us all.
Sorry I started babbling. I am growing spiritually, and those hard roads helped me get here and I am glad for all of my experiences.
I just wanted to say thank you, thank you for being a part of my life experience.
When I can afford it, I am going to buy some of your stuff. I wouldn't pirate individuals like you. Some things in life are worth paying for. Shine on my fellow human!